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04 April 2013 @ 05:25 pm
Brother Stand Beside Me [4/?]  
Title: Brother Stand Beside Me
Chapter: 4/?; In which Fíli nearly loses Kíli
Pairing: Fíli/Kíli
Author: lilja_june / vollmondnacht
Genre: Gen, Romance
Rating: T
Summary: I’ve found I always liked the parts in my stories most where Fíli and Kíli are still quite young… so I decided to write a short story/drabble series with that.
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Hobbit or any of the characters. Nor do I own the title which comes from a song by Heather Dale.
Comments: The prompt for this one came from the lovely Sansaery: "Fíli and Kíli have a row, and both are too stubborn to make the first step towards reconciliation. Until one of them ends up in trouble and the other rushes to his aid." Also, I am quite afraid this was the last part for a while. My holidays are almost over and I'll be very busy. This was also my last prompt. So if you have any ideas, feel free to send me a message and tell me!

In which Fíli nearly loses Kíli

“Don’t you two want to eat breakfast?” Dís calls from the kitchen as she hears her sons rummaging around in the hall. “Not hungry,” Fíli answers. “No time,” Kíli adds. Fíli is already out the door when Dís enters the hall and Kíli is hurrying to follow his brother. “Kíli, put on some warmer clothes!” she says sternly but Kíli only shakes his head. “It’s not that cold. I won’t freeze, ma,” he replies and runs off after Fíli. Dís only shakes her head. “Oh, those boys…”

“Fíli, wait for me!” Kíli is running to catch up. “It’s not my fault you’re so slow,” Fíli teases. “I’m not slow, you ran off when I wasn’t ready,” Kíli retorts and Fíli laughs quietly. “Whatever you say…”

They walk the rest of the way in comfortable silence, only disturbed by the playful scuffle that follows when Kíli bumps his shoulder against Fíli’s a little too hard, almost knocking his unprepared brother off balance.
They’re meeting up with some other young dwarves for training. These others are slightly older than both Fíli and Kíli and initially they’ve only asked Fíli to join them. But Kíli has instantly decided that whatever his brother does, he’ll do, too. And so he tags along, not even bothering to think he might not be wanted.

“I’m not taking him along,” one of the other ones says when he sees Kíli. “What do you mean ‘you’re not taking him along’? Fíli looks at him and crosses his arms over his chest, clearly irritated. “It means that we don’t mind you but nobody ever said your baby brother was invited,” another dwarf pipes up. “I’m not a baby!” Kíli protests instantly.

The older boys have the nerve to laugh. “Aww, now he’s getting angry. Look at him… how skinny he is and he doesn’t even have a beard yet.” Kíli is seething with rage. He waits for Fíli to speak up, to defend him. But instead, his brother takes him aside.

“Maybe you should go home… it would save us trouble,” Fíli says quietly. “What, so you think they’re right? That I’m a baby?” Kíli glares at Fíli. “I don’t!” Fíli rolls his eyes. “But I really want to go with them… please don’t spoil this for me, Kíli.”

“Spoil?! Who’s spoiling what here? Your so-called friends are a bunch of idiots and you just think they’re so cool because they’re older than us.” Kíli cannot believe what Fíli is doing right now. That he’s abandoning him for these fools who have about as much common sense as a herd of sheep.

“You’re being childish,” Fíli retorts, “And you’re just jealous because they want me to come along and not you. You know what, maybe they are right. Maybe you are still a baby.”

Kíli gapes at Fíli, his eyes wide and disbelieving. “I hate you,” he says after a few moments of just staring at his brother. Then he turns on his heels and leaves before Fíli will notice the tears that are starting to well up in his eyes. And Fíli doesn’t do anything to hold him back. Fíli just stands there and lets him leave.

Kíli knows that Fíli cannot possibly mean what he has just said. He just can’t, that’s not like him. But the lengths to which he goes to impress the other boys… Kíli wouldn’t have thought his brother would do just about anything to impress them, to be accepted. Kíli has expected Fíli to stand up for him and defend him. How it has always been. But he hasn’t done that.

If Kíli were the older one, he’d have told the others to fuck off. Because that would have been the right thing to do. Kíli doesn’t think he’s ever been so angry and disappointed with his brother before. Not even when they were younger and used to have stupid sibling arguments all the time.

After a while Kíli stops dead in his tracks. He hasn’t really paid attention to where he’s been heading. As far away from Fíli if possible. He looks around and, yes, he’s probably succeeded with that since he doesn’t even recognise the part of the forest he’s in right now.

It has snowed overnight and a thin dusting of snow covers the ground. It’s bloody cold. The air is crisp and Kíli’s breath steams in it. Judging by the dull grey of the sky, more snow will fall today. The wind picks up and Kíli shivers. He begins to regret waving off his mother’s concerns about warmer clothes this morning. If only he had taken his scarf and mittens along. He rubs his hands together in a vain attempt to warm them.

But he’s not going back. Because that would probably mean seeing Fíli and Kíli is still mad at him. How dare he? How can’t he see that those “friends” of his are no good when even Kíli can see it? In their case, older certainly doesn’t mean wiser…

So, going home isn’t an option. But Kíli would still like to know where he is. He hasn’t been walking for that long. Or has he? The sky is so dark with clouds that Kíli can barely see the sun and guess what time it is. But he isn’t lost. He certainly isn’t lost. He’s never been lost in the woods around Ered Luin… he has wandered around here since he could barely walk. There’s no way he can get lost and it’s only a matter of time until he’ll reach a place he’ll recognise.

But also a while later Kíli has no clue where he is and by now it has started snowing again, thick, fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky and covering the ground. Kíli continues to look around, there has to be something that gives him a clue where he is… but there isn’t, everything looks the same and everything looks unfamiliar.

While Kíli is completely focused on his surroundings he doesn’t pay attention to where he’s going and he doesn’t see the dip in the snow on the ground that is actually a rabbit hole and suddenly he stumbles. There’s a sharp pain in his foot and Kíli cries out as he falls to the ground. It takes a while until he has composed himself enough to assess the damage… but he realises he can’t even look at his foot. No matter how hard he dares to tug (which isn’t easy since it fucking hurts), his foot is stuck. He is stuck.

Now, if that doesn’t look promising. Stuck in the forest, lost, and freezing while it’s snowing heavily. Death by rabbit hole and snow. What a pitiful death for an heir to the line of Durin.

Kíli’s still attempting to see this in a funny light, to joke about the situation. But he cannot deny that he’s scared. He wants nothing more than to go home and to go home now. He wants Fíli to be here, argument be damned.
Kíli curses his own reckless decision of just running off into the blue without paying attention. He suspects people will come looking for him eventually. But when will that be? And how should they find him if he doesn’t even know where he is himself?

Kíli slumps down in a heap in the snow. It’s so cold… and his foot hurts. He shivers violently and tries to remember what he’s learned about not freezing to death. But the only thing he can recall is that you’re not supposed to fall asleep. But Kíli’s so tired after walking half of the day, he’s exhausted… if only Fíli was there with him. He’d know what to do, he always does…

*

‘I hate you!’ Kíli’s words are still ringing in Fíli’s ears. Kíli has never said that to him before, even though they’ve argued more than once. But Fíli thinks he might have gone too far this time. He didn’t truly mean what he said… That hurt look on Kíli’s face, it makes Fíli feel awful because it was his fault.

Fíli hasn’t been paying attention all day and he’s had his ass kicked simply because his mind was elsewhere. This is pointless. “I’m going,” Fíli announces and without even properly saying goodbye, he heads home. He doesn’t listen to whatever the older boys call after him, probably teasing him again. Teasing him just like how they teased Kíli. It’s how they are and that doesn’t make it right but they pretty much treat everyone like that if they can get away with it.

Fíli needs to talk to Kíli and apologise for what an asshole he was earlier. If Kíli is even willing to talk to him and not giving him the silent treatment. His brother is quite good at being a stubborn little shit.
“Ma?” Fíli calls when he arrives at home, “Where’s Kíli?” Dís emerges from the pantry left of the hall. “What do you mean?” she asks, “I thought he was with you?”

Fíli frowns. This is odd. “He’s not here then?” His mother shakes her head. “I haven’t seen him since the two of you left the house this morning.” She narrows her eyes at her older son. “I know that guilty look on your face. What happened, did you fight?”

“Something like that…” Fíli sighs. “Well, you better find your brother and sort out whatever happened,” Dís says and goes back to her work. “Yeah…” Fíli agrees quietly.

But as it is getting dark and the snowfall heavier, Kíli still hasn’t showed up. He’s nowhere to find in the village and Fíli is worried. His mother is, too, he knows that. “I’m going into the forest to look for him. Maybe…” ‘Something has happened’ he wants to say but he doesn’t. Dís nods. “But you’re not going alone. One lost son is more than enough,” she says and then goes to ask some dwarves to go and join Fíli while searching for Kíli.

They search for hours and come up with nothing. Fíli is outright terrified by now. Kíli might be reckless sometimes but he’d never stay away for so long unless something was very wrong. He keeps on calling his brother’s name but there’s never an answer. The forest is dark and they should be glad for the snow because it makes things a little lighter. They’re about to go back and look again for Kíli when it’s morning again and they can see more when Fíli notices something. Something dark in contrast to the white of the snow…

“Kíli!” Fíli yells and breaks off into a run, leaving everyone else behind. There’s still no answer and Fíli swears his heart is beating so fast it’ll jump out of his chest any moment. “Kíli!” he calls again as he comes closer and now Kíli moves, turning his head slowly to look in his direction. Fíli sees his brother’s lips move and form his name but his voice is barely even a whisper.

Fíli has reached Kíli now and kneels down on the ground next to him, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I was so worried, Kíli. Thank god, I found you…” Kíli hugs him back and Fíli doesn’t fail to notice how weak his brother’s grip on him is. “Took you long enough…” Kíli says quietly. Fíli draws back, looking at Kíli. “Are you okay?” Only now does he notice that Kíli is shaking like a leaf, that his lips are slightly blue.

Kíli shakes his head. “My foot… I’m stuck…” he says. Fíli takes a closer look and sees where Kíli’s foot is stuck in the rabbit hole. “I’ll get you out,” he says. At first he tries pulling Kíli out but soon stops when Kíli hisses in pain. “I’m sorry…” Fíli says quickly. Okay, this doesn’t work then… Fíli tries digging the soil away but the stupid ground is hard and frozen. He gets out his knife and tries it with that and finally, some of the earth crumbles away and he can pull Kíli’s foot free carefully.

One look at the misery that is his brother tells him that Kíli won’t be able to walk and so he pulls him up. “Come on, I’ll carry you.” “I’m too heavy to carry…” Kíli protests weakly. “You’re not, now come on,” Fíli insists and then he carries Kíli home on his back. Fíli also declines every offer from the other dwarves that they carry Kíli for the rest of the way home. He has his brother back and he just can’t let go of him now.

Kíli is barely conscious by the time they reach home and he’s got everyone worried. While a healer is called to check him over, his mother ushers Fíli out of the room, no matter how much he protests. But when the healer says Kíli will be fine, that he just needs to warm up and get some rest and that his ankle is only sprained, Fíli has never felt so relieved in his life before.

Kíli sleeps through all of the following day and half of the next while Fíli rarely leaves his side. He has climbed into bed with him, warming Kíli up again since he was too damn close to actually freezing to death. Fíli doesn’t want to think about what would have happened if they hadn’t found him. Kíli could be dead now.

It’s around noon on the second day when Kíli wakes up properly. He looks at Fíli who’s there with him, holding him. They lock eyes for a moment before Kíli just snuggles closer into his brother’s warmth. “I’m so sorry, Kíli… this is all my fault,” Fíli says quietly, “I never meant anything of what I said and I was so stupid.” “It’s not your fault,” Kíli answers, “Although yes, you were stupid. But apology accepted. Don’t fret about it anymore.”

Fíli nods but his guilty conscience is still nagging at him. “I said stop fretting,” Kíli repeats as if he can read his brother’s thoughts and he reaches out to brush a strand of hair out of his face.

“I almost lost you… and… the last thing you would have said to me is that you hate me,” Fíli says. He worries his lip between his teeth. “I was mad at you. I never meant that. I couldn’t hate you if I wanted to,” Kíli says and then he chuckles, “Awesome, I get the feeling that I just told you something you can use against me.”

Fíli shakes his head and smiles fondly before pulling his brother close against his chest. “My sweet little Kíli…” “Not little,” Kíli murmurs and Fíli knows that Kíli is pouting even when he cannot see it. He laughs quietly. “Okay, not little.”
 
 
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